Steven Seagal Facts

Hello my English-speaking readers! I haven't abandoned you!
Yesterday evening I was trying to prove Einstein made a mistake in the theory of relativity (you know, that's what normal people usually do when they come home after work, right?). In my thoughts, the theory of relativity diverged, and I was finally about to find out the real origin of the universe when suddenly something even more important crossed my mind: Steven Seagal movies.

So I did some research, and I found out the following:
Steven Seagal was born in Michigan. It is said that when Steven Seagal was born, he didn't cry nor laughed... and he hasn't yet. As a child, he was the first kid to learn the name of all 206 bones... by breaking every single bone of his teacher.
Drama, Horror, Comedy, Science Fiction... these are genres that Steven Seagal hasn't performed.
Records tell that Mrs. Seagal is unable to touch her husband while making love... he won't let her.
Some witnesses confirm that on May 18th, 1998 the hairdresser tried to cut Steven's ponytail... but what ended up cut off was the hairdresser's head.

Hope you enjoyed it! Stay tuned! And don't forget to tell us your joke on Facebook.

Festival del humor/ Tell us a joke!

Hola a todos! en facebook lanzamos nuestro primer festival del humor. Sólo tienen que darle a "Me gusta" y contarnos el mejor chiste. Los tres más votados (con más "Me gusta") serán publicados en ésta página.

Hi everyone!! Click on "I like it" on the facebook page and tell us the best joke you know. We'll publish the top 3 jokes (the most voted ones with "I like it") in this website!

Jack Bauer!

Hi everybody! My Chuck Norris post inspired me. Now I'll talk about Jack Bauer. An americanhero that can save the world from 123125472378 million terrorist attacks in just one day... Hope you like it!

Source

- There are three ways to get something done: slow, fast, or the Jack Bauer way, which is similar to fast but with a lot of pain.
- If you finally captured Jack Bauer, it doesn't matter if 27 ninjas, 17 marines, 29 taekwondo world champions, 36 soldiers with more guns than Rambo and 6 Jackie Chan clones watch him, he would kill them all in a blink.
- Chernobyl could have been avoided if Jack Bauer was there, he would have absorved all the radiation... and survive.
- When Daylight Savings Time ends, terrorists take vacations... it would be very stupid to plan an attack in a day that lasts 25 hours, imagine what Jack Bauer would do to them in that extra hour.

For my English-speaking readers: Chuck Norris

Something we must know about Chuck Norris:

- When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris

- Darth Vader dresses up as Chuck Norris for Halloween.

- Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.

- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

- The original title of the movie "Alien vs. Predator" was "Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris" (movie was cancelled, Aliens wanted a life assurance or they wouldn't fight against Chuck)

- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

- When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.